In Transition

I feel like I’m in a transition period, and it’s somewhat unsettling and making me anxious. I’m neither here or there….and I don’t know where I am going.

I am determined to make changes to my  life in 2011…

However, the infamous “job search” that I talked about in January/February is on hold until the end of the summer.  I did send out about 5 resumes this Spring.   I was probably unrealistically optimistic that I would get an interview call.  But as Spring rolled on, I stopped searching for jobs, partially because I was being extremely picky and choosy–the job had to be part-time, with hours close to that of my sons’ school hours (which isn’t many), nearby, and it had to fit my skill-set and seem interesting. Demanding, aren’t I?  Needless to say, there weren’t THAT MANY OPTIONS. The other reason why I stopped looking is that with school summer vacation approaching, and my kids enrolled in a different camp situation each week, it would be HELLLLLLLL  to juggle a new job and taxi service.

Towards the end of July/beg of August, I will begin in earnest again. My search will be broader as I will have more flexibility for hours, and would even consider a job in Boston. 

I am also thinking about the “What else can I do?” scenario.  I have always been a volunteer for something.  Over the last 10 years, I have been very active in my local Mothers of Twins chapter. I started out as newsletter editor, then membership secretary, national representative, president, and this past year, I was treasurer.  Many moms start dropping out of the club when their twins reach school age.  Since leaving “the presidency” I decided it was probably time for me to move on as well, since sports and school and other activities were taking up more and more of my time and energy.  I told the current president that the year I hold the treasurer position would be my last (on the board? in the club? I never made that clear).  When she sent out the email for volunteers for the next year’s board, I hesitated writing back. I said nothing. I just didn’t know.  I wanted to stand firm in my decision to say “good-bye” to the club, but on the other hand, it has become part of me.  In the last minute (literally) I volunteered to hold a “co” position with an elder member who could use some assistance.  There is also the option of getting more involved in the state or national levels.

Another option is to join a very vibrant woman’s volunteer organization in my town. Some of the things they have accomplished are amazing.  What’s stopping me? Granted, I don’t know many moms / people in this town (if you don’t know my kid, chances are I don’t know you), and from what I’ve seen the majority of the volunteers I’ve met/spoken with, live on the other side of town.  Ok, Ok…. you’re saying “why does that matter?” I know it doesn’t really, but that shy part of me who didn’t like the “clique” groups of HS is preventing me from joining.  Sad thing is, those women that I do know that belong this club, I do like. I know. I’m strange and full of insecurities.

Volunteering more at our church is another option. The assistant pastor asked me to consider helping out in Sunday School. I’ve also thought my energy might be used well with the Outreach Committee.

Or maybe something else will come along……

I JUST DON’T KNOW!!!! (can you say “mid-life crisis”?)

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2 thoughts on “In Transition

  1. I definitely understand where your at. I keep thinking about what I want to do when I go back to work full time. I have all these ideas, but will I make the change from what I am doing now? I don’t know. Knowing me, I will just keep going doing social work and maintaining the status quo, but I really want to change careers. Oh, Well. I have a few years to think about it.

  2. Huh. It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t come back to the CLUB 😉 I’m glad that your last minute decision was made…the “elder” needs all the help she can get 😉

    And I’m a member of that Women’s club…but I haven’t done much more than volunteer to make a dinner here and there. Join up – as long as you do at least two things a year, they consider you to be “active” 🙂

    I was also a Sunday school teacher…HATED it. Major anxiety Saturday nights. I might consider helping out at some point in the future, but never as TEACHER again 😉

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