That is one of the biggest questions Twin Moms ask in any twin-mom group, whether at a meeting or in an online discussion. Usually it revolves around school placement. In my case, since my twins have been happily separated in school for 4 years, I am constantly asking whether to keep them together or separate with sports and after school activities.
So far, the boys choose to be together. Their interests and abilities are surprisingly similar for fraternal twins.
However, that being said, each child does have his own streghths. M-man is surprisingly better at “individual” sports/activities. He is a fantastic swimmer (our family fish), he has great balance and speed on a bike. Same with roller-blading. Out of my 3 sons, he likes to play tennis.
I try to encourage these “individual” activities with M-man, because when he is playing a team sport, and the team loses (even if scores are not being kept, KIDS JUST KNOW WHO WON), M-man gets *very angry* at his team and himself for not playing at a level, or as a team, where there would be another notch in the W-column. He becomes one big pouty bugger. (he gets that from his dad) And it is near impossible to rationalize with him and use positive ecouragment that he played really well and put in his best effort, or that the other team was better, or that he should practice and get better for the next game. Sometimes I feel like I have never met anyone more stubborn and pig-headed as M-man when he gets into these moods.
T-man, on the other hand, is very mellow and happy-go-lucky when it comes to sports and activities. For the most part, Hubby and I strongly believe that he plays sports simply for the social aspect, and that is why team-sports suit him better. T-man has always been a social creature. He loves to be around people, goof off, and tell story after story after story. When he’s “out on the field,” the effort he puts in depends on what type of mood he’s in. Sometimes, his effort is m-i-n-i-m-a-l, and it is painful and frustrating to watch. When he’s in the mood and he has his groove on, he looks like he has the potential to be a very good athlete. But we never know which T we will see.
What is dissappointing (from a parent/sports-fan perspective) is that neither of my twin sons feel the need to practice any sport. They don’t need to choose a favorite, but to hear them talk, each sounds like he is destined for the Pro’s–whether it’s NBA, NFL, MLB, or MLS. (sorry folks, we are NOT a hockey family) They will both play the occassional pick-up game of hoops or touch-football in our yard when the neighborhood kids come over, and they both play hard at game time when they are signed up on rec department teams. But just the other day, during his annual pedi check-up, T-man told Dr. Pedi, “I’m going to grow up to play in the NBA and be as good as Kobe Bryant.” HELLLLOOOO? Really. When you only pick up a basketball once a week? And when M-man gets into one of his (above-referenced) moods, again, I want to say “Well, if you practiced more often….then maybe…..”
But, when asked “Hey guys, what sport or activity do you want to do this upcoming season?…..M, how about swim team? T, how about basketball clinic?” The answer is always “I want to do what HE is doing.” Sigh. A large part of me feels that it’s time for each of them to improve their own personal skills and abilities doing activities that each excels in.
People think I’m *crazy* for even suggesting the boys participate in separate activities—I would be creating a logistical nightmare for myself. Don’t get me wrong—having both boys play the same sport (and hence on the same team) is not only easier, but very enjoyable! So, I guess as long as they insist on doing things together….who am I to say no?